Considering the many dating sites in today’s world, people are getting married more times than their ages are. More so, relocating from ones country has become a trend. I recently got a DM  on my Instagram inquiring how my husband and I met. The writer went further to expound on her love for white men.  In addition she asked whether my husband had a brother I could hook her up with. As much as this sounds absurd, it is happening. It is the world we live in. Globalization does not only entail all of us listening to beyoncé but also being able to meet your prince charming through the click of a button. Needless to say, life in Europe is not as you see on social media.

Before packing your bags and actually deciding on moving from Mama Afrika for instance, you should bear in mind that change is inevitable. I already got the answer as to why there are so many hopeless home girls here not willing to move back home. It is because over the years life has changed so much. Things are not as they were back at home anymore. Governments have changed. Babies have been born. Thing is, these ladies hold a big title in the society. My sister or daughter or even friend who lives abroad. From abroad streams of living waters never dry. There is always money flowing back home. Little do you know what they do to earn the money.

After all, there are all these fancy photos on all their social medias. They have managed to mix and match some few pieces of clothes from some Chinese shop on the street. Chinese shops are everywhere in case you were wondering. In their pursuit to keep their titles, they are constantly going from one date to another. Every time wishing that this one would propose and get their papers legalized so that they can stay longer. In the meantime before they get a saviour, they indulge in all manner of businesses. Luckily Denmark is quite a decent country therefore they end up doing some decent casual jobs that can sustain them for just one more month.

All things considered, it is definitely not so bad for everyone. However everyone faces their own kind of tough. For my very educated friends with their heads high, before you pack your bags, sit and think of the sacrifice you gave to your degree. Reflect on the loans your parents are still paying for a paper that is likely to be discredited or rather considered weak. For instance, on moving here, I had to take my certificates for accredit ion by the ministry of education. The verdict was that they matched a bachelor of Laws degree in Denmark. However, the employers and the countless mentors you get here will advice that an extra degree from here will be an added advantage.

In the meantime, your peers are progressing with their careers while you sit and wait for another two to three years. All said and done, the extra degree is not a guarantee for a job in the West. This is not only for the foreigners but, they come last in a job placement. Well, foreigners second last and blacks last. Race is not a matter here until it is. I am in one of my first Danish classes and we are discussing on our journey in settling in. The teacher insanely mentions the difficulties of foreigners actually finding a job here. She mentions cleaning apartments as the first one most of us will eventually have. Further, she clarifies to me that when going for a job interview, a Dane will be considered first, then an EU citizen thereafter a Caucasian and lastly the African. This hits me hard.

However, I don’t say anything on the contrary. It is how it is. We just have to work twice as harder to achieve a half of what they have. Her statement lingers in my mind up to date. Months after, there is a documentary about joblessness in Denmark for non Danish speakers. This one guy from Ghana is featured. He has two master degrees and a PH.D. Moreover, he speaks Danish more than a native. All things considered, he hasn’t gotten a job in 13 years. This confirms my teacher’s sentiments. In her advice she shared her story that she cleans apartments during her spare time therefore we should not feel intimidated by it. I choose to keep my mouth shut on discrimination and right to equality shenanigans, after all jogoo wa shamba hawiki jijini.

Before packing your bags and moving to Europe, you should be ready to be shocked by very simple things. For example, a dish washer or even an all black attire society.  My experience is that it is very easy to lose yourself. I have been trying to integrate into the society the best way I can. I eat their food, kind of speak their language and even acquired some good ethics like smiling at each other for no reason. It is the gospel they preach here. They have no Kanyari and others on the streets. Integration. I totally support it, however, do not let go of your norms and principles. Things that have made you who you are. It is very easy to let go. In this social media era where there is competition on who is doing better than the other.

Generally speaking, it does not matter the reason that makes you pack your bags. Just remember to have a master plan. What if the marriage does not work? Or the job was a fraud? Maybe the scholarship was discontinued? Before packing the bags what are you willing to sacrifice? From your values and principles to even your relationship with God. Think it through first.

By Nancy Njoka

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