Hi, this is where I have been

Hello, its been a while. I missed you but life happened. I feel guilty for always coming back to you when I need therapy. You understand how important you are to me, right? So important that you are my go to when I need someone to talk to. Are you still here? Did you miss me? Have you been checking for that post? Did you know we already had a baby?

I had a a baby whose eyes can already see the world clearly. That’s how long I have been gone for. My labour and delivery the second time around was a bliss. It took me less than an hour at the hospital for the little missy to make her grand entrance. You can check the story here (labour and delivery vlog). I thought the bliss would last longer. Well, we got back home two hours after my delivery. Our toddler was excited to wake up to his little sister. He still is.

A few days postpartum, I developed an excruciating pubic bone pain. In addition to this, our baby barely slept the first week. As I type this, my mum took turn to rock her. Yes, mum is around. She won’t fall asleep unless rocked. The dinner dishes are still on the table since babe is trying to put Bernie to bed. I have clothes in the washer and a last batch waiting to be loaded. Furthermore, I want to pee so bad. But here I am typing my feelings.

Recently I started having hot and cold flashes at night. It is scary. I will tell you all about it on another post.  On a lighter note, I had my first sprint today. Oh, its a one week challenge but I feel like I don’t need it. I am putting on weight anyway despite me breastfeeding. My spirit is willing to be fit but no matter what I do its not working.

As much as we are so happy with our little missy, it is exhausting having a baby who cries for so long. I know you are about to compare my journey to someone else who probably has an unhealthy baby. We are grateful for good health but our journeys are different. However, Bernie has made it a bit easy for us. Sibling jealousy has not checked in yet save for few hyper activity here and there. He is such a sweet big brother who wants to kiss his baby sister all the time.

I am sure you are wondering if this is a comeback. Let’s see what tomorrow brings. It is my intention to document all my daily feelings so that when this phase is over, which I know it will be, I will reflect on how far we have come. My choice is to speak my mind because I care about my mental health. I will see you tomorrow with how the day will be. Until then, fill your mind with those things that are good and deserve praise. Love and light

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