My husband is busy watching Manchester United play. He gets euphoric at every chance Zlatan is kicking the ball. Oh someone scored!! I am trying to gather up some great vocabulary to use in this piece but this Róse I am taking seems to distract my search. Bernie fell asleep earlier than usual today. We must have engaged him during the day. Rógvi was off work so it was a good day for both of us. Before all this life changing situations, I would always tag myself as a career woman. I never imagined myself writing about how many diapers I changed in a day or how I just sat on the couch day dreaming. Sharing my life as a stay at home mom abroad.
January 14th feels like yesterday. When I was busy pushing with every vein in me. Pushing to become a mom. Little did I know that this would be my career for about two years of my life. This morning I was drafting my CV for job applications here, and I could not shy away from writing down my career as stay at home mom. I have a schedule before I go to bed. It is never followed to the letter especially for those cranky mornings. I wish I could say that I get out of bed before my babies as it is the custom of most moms.
No. There are those mornings I just want to lounge in bed and watch Bernie walking to and from our bed side. Other mornings are filled with so much energy and enthusiasm that I lead them out for us to make the best out of a day. I always want to take shower the first thing in the morning but I can’t. It is either a morning shower or fixing oats for my beautiful son. Luckily, Rógvi is not a morning eater. Therefore, a bowl of oats with milk works.
Shortly after our breakfast, we indulge in play and learning. Bernie is finally assuming his own personality. I am so keen to understanding him before I miss out in any stage of his life. For instance, he is not clingy unless when hungry. He likes being left alone although at times I find it necessary to engage him. It fulfills my heart especially when that cloud of self pity engulfs me. He is my consolation. The snuggles during our play time are encouraging. We crawl through the tunnels, stay in his little hut, build legos and have him role play cooking among other activities.
After about an hour of play we head to the kitchen for a fruit snack. His current favorite is the Danish strawberries and grapes. In Denmark mums are encouraged to practice baby led weaning which always leaves a great mess. We like to call it *cute mess.’ This leaves me with no option but to bath him. While he plays with his ducks and boats , I take a quick shower beside him. We have a list of songs for our bath time so it’s never a boring moment. He loves the bath time. I hurry to moisturize my skin and with my bathroom robe on, I pick my little one. This is always accompanied by a lot resistance and yelling which ceases after he views himself on the mirror.
We dress up and play for a bit longer until it is almost his nap time. This is when I offer him his after shower porridge which sends him to bed. Sometimes he doesn’t nap. If he does, I always take a ten minute break to check my social media and post what needs to be posted there. In addition, I catch some breath and re organize myself. I have so much to do within a very short time. From doing dishes to loading the washing machine. Vacuuming to mopping. Perhaps edit a video that is meant to be uploaded the next day or posting a blog post after a two weeks break. However, there are those days I would just sit and procrastinate. I would day dream about so much.
As much as I am moving forward, the thought of what could have been crosses my mind. I can’t afford to dwell there. After all, there is a load of work ahead of me. I take this quiet opportunity to come up with blog topics. My mother’s house had a schedule. Mopping was always the first thing after breakfast. The only difference with here is that there is no one to dictate what I have to do and at what time. I love my kitchen clean so I start by tending to it first. This gives me momentum. Bathroom seconds it and just before I know it, my whole apartment is clean. No sooner do I sit to take a rest and check on my website stats than my little one is up.
Luckily he loves his high chair so I can finish checking my online stuff while he transitions from his sleep mode. I always make him warm food every other day of the week. It’s lunch time and we are both so ready to eat. I serve him his frikadeller, rye bread with liver paté (leverpostej). I appreciate the danish culture when it comes to baby food especially the finger foods. With these, Bernie is able to feed himself while I work on a blog post or a video. We finish almost at the same time and we are ready to enjoy each other again.
In Denmark, fresh air for little ones is highly valued. Therefore, I make sure I take him for a walk everyday. It is my therapy. I get to breathe in the cold and change the environment. There are those times when he doesn’t sleep and we get to enjoy an outdoor swing and sieving the sand in the park. It is already about 5 p.m when we head home. We pass by the grocery store (supermarket) to buy for dinner. Babe is also on his way home. Sometimes we meet up and enjoy a family walk together.
Dinner is mostly ready by half past six where we all eat together. I thereafter get Bernie dressed for bed while babe prepares for his daily Vitamin D and brushing his teeth. Thing is, parenting is hard if you are alone. I have so much respect to the single parents. My husband helps me a big deal whenever he is around. Last year, a friend was complaining of how hard it was taking care of her baby without a nanny and I just smiled. I dared to comment on her status. In response, she called me lucky to have a one year maternity leave. I did not feel like taking the conversation further. However, I was left thinking that she had just a weekend with her little one and still…. I should not judge.
There is no mom who is superior than the other. I may not be going to work every morning but I get to keep my own house in order. Taking care of my baby becomes a priority too. As to the working mom, you bring food to the table and still get to spare any second you have left with the babies. If I had a chance to get back to my career,I would. Then I will cry when leaving Bernie at the vuggestue. We all have something to sacrifice. For instance, finishing up on this post while I would have joined Bernie in bed to keep up with his night shift.