I am sleep typing this. I promised my husband that I would join her when she sleeps today. She just did but here I am eating chocolate and setting a new body goal for next week. In my head I will cut off all the processed sugar and bread and after that I will fit into my new designer dress. I cross my fingers that tonight won’t be like the previous two nights but I crossed them last night too. I hope she sleeps longer tonight so that I will not be eating this chocolate tomorrow. At this very moment, I think it is good for my soul but I know the weighing scale won’t agree tomorrow. who cares though??

Last three nights have been tough. She is really coughing and there is nothing I can do but to wait for it to heal by itself. Saline drops are helping with the blocked nose but not with the interrupted sleep. Poor girl, I am sure she is wishing for quality sleep too. Last night I was desperate for her. She is on a clock. At 12 midnight she gets up and feeds. I am always half awake until the scream to burp which is accompanied by this hopeless cough.

In addition to all this, she is teething. every chance she has awake she wants to chew on everything. The bacteria from the everything has gotten her a running stomach. So between breast feeds, coughs, blocked nose, we have the big diaper changes within the same nights. This took us about 2 hours last night. soothing, changing and all that stuff. When she finally falls asleep, her sleep is not as peaceful.

Its okay though. She has no fever and eventually all this shall pass. In between the cough she is smiling and laughing hysterically. We have even nicknamed her ‘smiling machine.’ But wait, before I go to bed, she sleeps quite okay. The moment it’s my turn, it all starts. I am sorry for my flow of thoughts, its just tough when the little ones are ill. This motherhood thing has made me realize just how strong we are. Like for real. Men can’t handle what we women do. We are just so special.

Can you even imagine that someone’s life depends on me and my breasts? Or even carrying pairs of organs inside for nine months. With less than 5 hours of sleep the last 24 hours I am still here zoned out with some Kex, writing up this post while partially watching Germany vs Netherlands playing. This is after an appointment with my friend during the day and an evening caring for my two kids. Husbae is amazing because he made dinner. He is knocked out already though. Don’t tell. I want this feeling of being superhuman to remain inside me. I like the fire. More sleep could do me better though.

I wish you all a week filled with good sleep.

Love & light

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