Recently, I got a text message from a friend. She was checking on me. We therefore ended chatting for a couple of minutes. You may think I have so much free time for me to write a couple of minutes. Actually, unless the little one is sleeping, I barely have a minute of my own. Let us get to the purpose of this blog post before I digress. She went ahead to ask me how glamorous motherhood was. As the rule of society requires, I told her that it was really glamorous. I even quoted a few social media moms for her to illustrate how amazing motherhood really is. That was definitely not the end of the questions. Almost everyone checking on me nowadays has to ask whether I gave up on my prestigious career. In fact, she went ahead to add whether am now a stay at home mom.
Whenever I am confronted with these rhetoric questions, I end up explaining too much. I seek to convince the person asking, that I like my current job. I give more information than asked. For instance, I ended up explaining to her that a maternity leave in the West is for a year. I even mentioned the fact that the government pays for child support until they are teenagers. Did I mention that I blog and go to a language school as well? I do all these things beside being a stay at home mum. I was very careful to make motherhood look glamorous which it actually is. She is expecting to be a mum one day you know.
Days after our chat, I was left thinking about it. Whenever I go through my social media, there are so many mums posting their fashionable photos with their little ones of course. Some have no sign of any baby weight after just two months of giving birth. Others have their make up so flawless. They all look so glamorous. Where do they get all this time? Could i be doing this mothering wrong? Why am i not as glamorous as they are? Why can’t my baby weight seem to go? These are some of the questions that linger in my head thereafter. I am eventually settled down by the most innocent smile from my little one, not to mention a forehead kiss by my dear husband. He is very careful to remind me that am still a beautiful girl. They glow in my darkness.
Sometimes I allow those rhetoric questions get into me. A question like whether I gave up Law to be a mum. I structure world award winning answers in my head, especially when it is a former classmate asking. Most of the time, this former classmate has a well paying legal job in a well known non governmental organization. She will even remind me of the legal drafting unit i failed in my bar exams. Dear friend, you cannot compare motherhood to anything in this world, especially to Law. Motherhood is a special calling. It is a choice you make everyday. There are no relevant facts in this. There is no corroboration either. The only submissions in this journey is to a husband and above all to God. Moreover, there is no pause in motherhood. It is like learning,a continuous process. There is no glamour like in the legal profession.
One of my close friends went further to think that i should dress like a lawyer. Well, am not so sure how a stay at home mum (lawyer) should dress but am still in the process of figuring that out. In the meantime, i feel so comfortable in my breastfeeding vests and pajamas and just lip gloss. Actually, yesterday I tried putting on make up, I must admit I liked how I looked. I was tempted to post the photos on social media. The only problem is that my boy got up before I took any photo. I was forced to rub off my expensive glamorous lipstick as I could not resist the urge to kiss him. My make up setting spray could not prevent the light brown stains on my little one’s white shirts too. Furthermore, I forgot all my lawyer suits back in the mabaty suburbs of Jamu.
I don’t want to emphasize the fact that I really love being a stay at home mum. I have days when all I want is just to be a mum and stay with my son. There are other days I want to clean even breast milk am feeding my son on. However, there are other times when I just sit and watch TV all day. After such a day I want to explain to my husband the reason why I did not do any house chore or even go out for a stroll. He is the only one that understands me anyway. The danish government makes it easier for me to be a stay a home mum too. Just imagine getting a stipend for being a mum? I will eventually get back to Law dear friend, let me enjoy blogging and the glamorous motherhood first. Life is never that serious.